life as it is...

LIFEEEEE, BITCHEESSS!

2011-10-03T00:24:00.000+08:00

Mother gush out a strong wind,

The walls that shield are thin,

I will not succumb to ruins,

Life can start if it only begins.

New path, chapters and stories,

The whole show was peachy,

Actions were without regret,

Subconsciously that’s what begets.

Caution thrown to the wind,

A destruction foreseen,

Comprehension is all muddled,

Emotions are all curdled.

What thoughts were right; were wrong,

Beliefs of being strong didn’t prolong,

Things just don’t come as how you want,

Reluctantly revert back to square one.

I hate this melancholy shit.

Enter Galactic

2011-07-24T20:24:00.008+08:00

Standing high up at a level,

Looks at beauty that others don’t see,

Understanding misunderstood wind,

Breathing nature with a smile.

Train chugs at a speed,

As thoughts go deeper,

Imagining a world,

Where everything’s so vivid.

Everyone is everyone's brethren,

Brooding over mistakes nonexistent,

Forgiveness comes effortlessly,

Peace comes compassionately.

In this conception there’s no hate or disregard;

Everything will be alright, everything will be alright.

June 2011

Unsent message

2011-05-19T02:01:00.000+08:00

"All the people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down, you know they hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; cause life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside"

-"Heart of the matter" India Arie

A New Story

2011-04-12T18:38:00.002+08:00

Colour, feathers; glitter and stones,

Methodically embossed or adhered,

Even pretty in monotone,

And sometimes in fur.

It covers and hid,

Ambiguity. Mysterious..

Everything underneath,

wanting to burst.

Who knows the veiled wearer,

A meticulous task;

to pry and pester,

Behind the Masquerade Mask.

2010-05-06T16:00:00.002+08:00

I feel so alone. Sad.
I've lost everything.

Have you seen the remote?

2010-05-04T01:20:00.001+08:00

My life feels its on pause right now,
and the problem is that I can't find the remote control to click on play.

2010-04-30T01:44:00.002+08:00

You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're the one I want for life.

You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night.

-Shania Twain

I have made many attempts to show that you're the one I want. I just hope you'll realize it.

I'm weak

2010-04-26T19:21:00.003+08:00

What can a girl do,
When everything is shredded,
What can a girl do,
When the pieces refuse to fit

What can a girl do,
When she's got no working limbs,
What can a girl do,
When all she has are dreams

What can a girl do,
When she gives her all,
What can a girl do,
When she only falls.

It hurts most when you give your heart and everything you are and you end up disappointed and frayed.

2009-11-30T00:14:00.002+08:00

I will go to the world's end with you.
But, will you, with me?

I will hunger

2009-11-16T03:30:00.006+08:00

I noticed that you don't stand up for me
I noticed that you don't protect me
I noticed that you don't show your love to me
I noticed that you only talk but you walk halfway

I feel that if you love me, you would respect me
I feel that if you love me, you would keep your promises
I feel that if you love me, I should be more treasured
I feel that if you love me, things should be more gentle

I feel that if you love me, you should find words to express it
I feel that if you love me, you should find actions to express it
I feel that if you love me, you would take anger away
I feel that now that you have me, you will remain loving me 8 and a half out of ten
I feel that that is not enough.

Until then, I will hunger.

-When you loved me, it was beautiful.-

Hot or Cold?

2009-07-21T21:45:00.005+08:00

I said, Cold.

So, he drove us up to Genting with a prepared picnic basket. Lol
It was not what I expected, but I was quite touched with the immense effort that he put in. Lol
We went to the park in Genting and had candles lit up and consumed mostly instant food.
But it was good ! LOL

Too bad we couldn't take better pics. Needed new pics for our photo frames in his room. Oh well.

I'm a fat, fat girl.

Sixth Monthaversary

2009-07-19T23:24:00.004+08:00

If one could say
My love for you is like a flower
That's full bloomed from nurture
Nay, I shall say!
A flower too, will have its days
As it withers when a petal lay

If I can compare
My love for you with the moon
As it shines incandescently even for ruins
No, I can't bare
The moon's consistent glow isn't always there
Sometimes full and other times fair

Love is kind and do not boast
So abide to it; I am capable
Because our love should not be told
As our love, is simply inexplicable.

17.July.09

2009-07-09T15:31:00.001+08:00

I've only got a few more days before monday when my college starts.
Sigh. I'm gonna be so busy and tired during my 2nd sem. Schedule's so packed

Anyway!!!!

The other day, Amelyn+Mc, Vincent and I went for a drink and Mc was talking about the number plates on Caldina's.

Mc : You know ah, I realised the car, Caldina, the number plate all like this one.
(Then he puts out his palms straight up and to the side like this /)
Kimmy : Means, senget lah.
Mc : No, not senget! This is slanting. /
Kimmy : SENGET LAH!
Mc : No, senget is this \ not /
Kimmy : Its the same lah!

Vincent : *stones*
Amelyn and Kimmy : *bursts out laughing*

Singapore, 3rd of July.

2009-07-04T01:08:00.002+08:00

So, I've finally made it out of Malaysia for a trip.
And one with my Boyfriend! (and generous family).
And one on my Birthday!
I thought I could have fun shopping here a little bit since they are having their GRAND sale.
But, NO! Everything is STILL so expansive!

Nevertheless, I am having so much fun thanks to the Wong's! (this doesn't include wong KOK LIM for the late wish. SIGH)

Had japanese at Hanabi's.
Visited the Night Safari!
And was enjoying it like a little kid would.

A good way to spend a birthday compared to last year. LOL

2009-06-27T17:41:00.001+08:00

I just made my passport yesterday!! wee~~
I'm going on my first trip OUT of malaysia!!!
I'm going to singapore on my birthday!!
Lalalala~~~
I only have $100!!!
hahahahahha

To my Vincent,

2009-05-15T23:53:00.003+08:00

Love's food

To the sweetest boy in my life,
the tough and macho ~~man~~ boy,
that sexy guy that makes me feel alive.

Today is our 3rd monthaversary,
and it is just time,
Time to express the length of meaning of you to me.

You're the extra added salt and pepper in my soup,
The sugar in my soft cookies,
That makes me do the loop the loop.

You're the cheese in my tart,
The cream in my puff,
The big face in my heart.

I'm sorry for the times when smoke gets into your eyes,
Vision's a blur; but the picture's a clear,
You're mine and only mine.

17.april.2009

I wrote about my love's favourite food and a pic of us was stuck on the other side of the paper. LOL

Love comes naturally

As the wind breezes,
my heart eases,
As the leaves rustle,
my mind bustles.

As the earth shakes,
the longing aches,
As the quake rumbles,
my body trembles!

As you put in peace,
but same in pieces,
I'll still love you,
whether rain or dew.

12.may.2009

I know our happy world is starting to shake a little bit, but what's a relationship without rocky roads, right? Plus, I like the rocky road ice cream. Heh. I'm sorry for always being the fire starter, but all our little arguments have brought me to a realization about how deeply your love is for me. Its like a doubt-window-wiper. Yea. Heh. Its gonna be our 4th month soon, and its been the most eventful/euphoric months. Love love!

<3 ,
Your love.

Dedicated to Mr. kok

2009-03-03T14:47:00.001+08:00

He aint giving me no reason to be sweet about him. SO here's just a post dedicated to him.

Fullstop.

A change of name

2009-03-02T20:16:00.005+08:00

Coda Coala has become Chester ! heh.

A couple of days after purchasing this ball of poop, Chester's father laid in bed feeling guilty. He felt like he is not being a good father because he doesn't get to see his son much. The only times are before and after work. Hahahaha!
The funny thing is, Vincent doesn't even show the dog much affection at all. He doesn't dare kiss him or even place Chester near his face. Sigh. He said in every family, there must be a parent who scolds and the other soft. "You can be the soft one" he said. LOL

My new baby!

2009-02-25T12:26:00.004+08:00

He's name is Coda Coala. As in COALa! Because he's as black as coal!
He's a toy poodle. Vincent just bought him yesterday! It's our baby! SO technically he is mine, but Vincent has to pay for everything that's necessary. LOL that's why you get a bf. LOL

Chels is so afraid of him. LOL

In Memory of Desirée.

2009-02-21T21:31:00.002+08:00

Have you ever had something you loved so dearly only to have it leave you after a long period of 2 years? No. HAVE you EVER had something you loved so dearly only to have YOURSELF kill it after a long period of 2 years?

My daughter, Desirée, died on the 20th February 2009, 5.55pm.
It was due to an abominable anti-chlorine mistake. I watched her writhe and suffer the poisonous sensation till she lay down peacefully next to her favourite company, the bubbles, and saw the earthly light for the last time.
I sat in front of her home for 20 minutes and cried my eyes out. I cried when I was packing my swimming bag and drained what was remained in my tear ducts on the way to Paul's club. Even though my appreciated boyfriend was there to comfort me, it was not enough. I didn't feel like swimming because it reminded me of her. I always wanted to bring her into a pool and swim with her. LOL. But that would've killed her too.

Yes, this is a very long post for just a fish. But nothing is "just a something" if you really love it.

Torn by a secret .

2009-01-04T06:16:00.001+08:00

I have a secret I mustn't tell
A secret so dark; it's demented
It has to be kept in a place where no one dwells
and nothing is ever chattered

This secret that I have been trusted on
Could only save another
But for one life, the other will be gone
I am torn between the former and the latter

I am thrown into a pit
Where serpents and vultures draw breath
A place where you can only find deceit
So close to be fooled to my death

A fortunate light has been emitted
Unexpectedly the former laid out a hand
And soon the secret had to be admitted
It seems that he could comprehend

Now what am I to do
What I have tried to kept in is out
Will the anger of the latter brew?
Surprise, surprise; given is the benefit of the doubt

An old poem

2009-01-03T06:55:00.000+08:00

The wondrous of this feeling… by Kimberly

The wondrous of this feeling
Conjures a beauty of sacrificing
There is always time and space
For this emotion to be placed
The wondrous of this feeling
Will leave you desiring
It is seen not in words but by actions
It fills you whole at every fraction
The wondrous of this feeling
Lives in every soul and being
In the heart is where it’s found
It’s treasures one cannot count
The wondrous of this feeling
Does one call an art of loving?
Then I suppose it is true
I have fallen in love with you.

An old poem I found in my drafts.

A toast to the new year ! 2009

2009-01-03T05:18:00.005+08:00

Since it is a New Year, maybe I should start blogging again. I have no idea or what sort to blog about. LOL Prolly it is because the year has just only started. I have learned SO MUCH last year. SO SO MUCH. Or probably, too much.

I hope for a better year this year. It is my last "-teen" year after all. I should have fun before I enter the "-ty" zone and be old like Amanda. heh

So.

Hear ye, hear ye!
Here's a toast to the new year, Year 2009!
How ever late I am to toast for the new year, doesn't matter!
A toast to a great one and a great one we shall have !
*champagne glasses clinging in one's mind*

Resolutions : To be happy no matter what.

Poems from last year :

19th November 2007

It could be uncertainty,
But not feelings of rue,
I don't know what's this in me,
I am certain though; it's about you.

It started when you entered my car,
I knew this would be different,
Just like you are,
But to my heart beat; I listened.

The surface of the water; ripples,
Just by the touch of a finger,
And just with a word that nibbles,
Your feelings of discomfort; triggers.

Many things that I had to learn,
Things that are unable to fathom,
But tender is what you yearn,
Slowly I've grown accustomed.

The fog's clearing up now,
I see it; it's true delight!
But it's hard to say it somehow,
I'll say it when the time's right.

(not one of my favourites. Because the tone changes and the rhythm is pretty f*cked up. But I was in a rush to write that because it was written for a special occasion for an "once special" person)

26th May 2008

Footsteps on this autumn trail,
Delightfully without fail,
Conjures nostalgic familiarity,
Yet puzzles the mind with ecstasy.

Whom does this print belong to?
Who has casually walked through?
My, what an ominous questionaire
Ergo, to know the answers is a dare.

A combination of feelings it offers,
Simple joy with a somber wish for an eraser
What a mystery has come,
A confusing phase; yet a melodious hum.

(I love the ending to this one. LOL)

23rd December 2008

All her life she had waited.
Till one day, she just stopped.
As she was always disappointed.
Alas, an angel popped!
Oh, she felt elated!
How high she had leaped!
Question is, should she be fixated?
In her face opportunity dropped!
Ah, but he was simply overrated.
Though, he really should've been grabbed.

Oh! But what is this?!
Who has just confess?
A friend of his!!
My, what a hiccup she must address.
Yet time spent had been bliss.
She felt wonderful and no less.
She even longed for a kiss.
But no, she digressed.
She said sorry at the least.
He'll move on she guessed.

One might think that was the end.
But no, someone strolled in.
Hard she try but could not fend.
Her lustrous self was; oh, so keen!
A message or two had been sent.
And the light she saw was green.
She felt euphoric and content.
But now she wished it never had been.
All along he had pretend.
It's what she deserved, a sin for a sin.

(I personally love this. It is something different from what I always write.)

2008-10-25T01:24:00.002+08:00

If only I had a better face.

Pn Toh

2008-09-19T01:30:00.003+08:00

ok. I know I haven't been blogging at all but I just wanna blog this down just for the memories. LOL

The other day I was yumchar-ing with jenwae and the rest.. and they were all talking about their high school experiences and I just remembered one of mine. LOL

It was during form 5. We dropped arts and so we found it pointless if we joined the class at the art room. (It's in the rules that we have to btw, so in a way, it was kinda ponteng-ing lah but not really)

Chelle, May lyn and I was coming back from the canteen when we saw Pn. Toh (ex discipline teacher) walking along our row of classes.

"SHIT!! HOW?!"
"run lah.. run up and above her and come down the other side"

and we did so. We ran up the nearby stairs and ran right above her and appeared the other side. Thinking that she would already disappeared by the time we came down, we came out from the stairs only finding that she was still standing at the same spot! Probably took 2-3 steps. hahahaha The blardy lady walks damn slow lah ! LOL

ok I know it's not funny. But it was to us. LOL

taw

Whoosh

2008-02-28T00:56:00.002+08:00

i feeell like grabbing a bottle of beer
sitting on the swings..
drinking.

swinging.

not thinking.

just swinging and drinking

care for a drink?

2007-04-08T02:47:00.000+08:00

You know when your birthday is, but how old should you really be getting married? (just put an x next to the things that apply to you)

[ ] I know how to make a pot of coffee.
[x] I keep track of dates using a calender.
[ ] I own more than one credit card.
[ ] I know how to change the oil in a car.
[x] I know how to do my own laundry
[ ] I vote every election.
[x] I can cook for myself
[ ] I think politics are exciting.
[ ] I balance my checkbook.
[/] My parents have better things to say than my friends. [ (/) that's a half X ] Lolx

Total: 3 and a half

[ ] I show up for school/college/work every day early.
[/] I always carry a pen in my pocket/purse.
[ ] I've never gotten a detention.
[ ] I have never gotten completely trashed.
[ ] I have forgotten my own birthday at least once.
[x] I like to take walks by myself.
[ ] I've watched talk shows.
[ ] I know what 'credibility' means without looking it up.
[ ]I drink coffee at least once a week.

Total: 1 and a half

[x] I know how to do the dishes.
[x] I can count to 10 in another language.
[ ] When I say I'm going to do something I do it.
[x] My parents trust me.
[ ] I can mow the lawn.
[x] I can make adults laugh without being stupid.
[x] I remember to water the plants.
[x] I study when I have to.
[x] I pay attention at school/college.
[x] I remember to feed my pets.

Total: 8

[x] I can spell 'experience' without looking it up
[ ] I work out on a regular basis.
[x] I clean up my own mess.
[ ] The people at Starbucks know me by name.
[ ] My favorite kind of food is takeout.
[x] I have gained weight since middle/high school.
[ ] The first thing I do when I wake up is get caffeine.
[x] I can go to the store without getting something I don't need.
[ ] I understand political jokes the first time they are said.
[x] I can type quickly.

Total: 5

[ ] I have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour.
[ ] My only friends are from my place of employment.
[ ] I have been to a tupperware party.
[ ] I have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job.
[ ] I have more bills than I can pay.
[ ] All my friends are older than I am.
[ ] I can say no to staying out all night.
[x] I use the internet every day.
[x] My wardrobe hasn't changed in a while.
[x] I can read a book and actually finish it.

Total: 3 = 21

wow~ no way. Too young.

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart) by ee cummings

2007-04-03T00:09:00.000+08:00

EE Cummings - i carry your heart

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                   i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

2007-03-30T21:38:00.000+08:00

So here I am once again after a long time, blogging. I bet no one checks this blog anymore. Lolx! That's ok with me .

Friends of mine. The ones that love me ... or so they say. I'm not a very good friend. When I say I'll be there. I'll be there.. but only ears I offer.. nothing more nothing less. I'm sorry that I can't advise, encourage and else what but there's still a shoulder if you need it.

Friends of mine. I can't do anything but I'll still offer and try. I can't give you anything that others can.

Friends of mine. At the surface I may look happy. I truly am. But some nights of bedtime, my pillows are damp, my vision's blurry, I'm flooded in my own tears.
The things that hurts me, only my diary knows now... and the ones that reads it of course. No more will I tell anyone about what's inside, because what more will anyone understand?
I made it this way. I know. But when I'm hurt.. it seems that I say hurtful things too.. I don't want to hurt people because I'M hurt. Even if i don't say hurtful things.... good friends as such would feel sad because I am.... and I don't want them to be sad because I'm sad.

This pain I feel, I share alone.

Still the same

2007-03-26T01:18:00.000+08:00

Whahahaha! Kimmy is soooo stupid! She sign'd in and then and then and then..she left it on. I wanted to blog. but then..it came here! Whahahahha. ok..since kimmy has not blog'd since er..when feb? dont know. but yea. i'll blog for her. *evil laugh*

She's still sideways..really crabby. She admit'd it herself! Hmm..what else. She's still skinny. Still stupid. Still dumb. Been playing CS! (I have to admit. She's getting better! *Jangan Kembang!*) She always uses this same gun..commando..a guy that day said she can commando him anytime! Lolx. Her stupid nick on cs is 0.0 why kill me? damn dumb right? *sigh* can't believe she's actually my sister.
She's been lazy...not baking any cookies!!! and then..she's still sleeping everywhere. still stupid. still dumb. Hmm..what else. She has a 'boy' on her leg. DOn't know why. But she does. Her stupid 'parang chai' (as Zhang call's it) is still swimming. sideways. like herself. feel like doing something to it. maybe kill it? or..i dont know. ideas?

Well..yea..that's about it..still stupid..still dumb. ..

IM BACK ! lolx

2007-02-04T18:52:00.000+08:00

leemin and michelle came over on tuesday to bake some cupcakes/muffins. Lolx! it was supposed to be cupcakes but it turned out to be muffins.. well wrong recipe? wtv it was still good i guess, icing was intensely SWEEEEET!! Lolx! i gave all my muffins to my friends and cousins. Had one for myself. it was ok lah . We decorated them ! wee~~

anyway, i've been having this feeling of ALONE TIME
i need some ME TIME

omg.. im listening to B.E.P-Bebot and i just remembered that jenwae used to call me filipino. Lolx! he said i look like one. damn .

anyway, just wanted to start blogging again.. but i've got not much to blog abt.

Just that i need me time, and I've been procrastinating. yerp. ok ! signing off now .

p.s If you wanted the praise and credit in the first place, should have just done it yourself and not ask from me

2007-01-21T14:01:00.000+08:00

yes yes i havent been updating but I AM here now aren't I?! Lolx!
so... i'll just get on with it..

It was Friday and Aaron had math tuition but he didn't want to go
Aaron : No need go lah mummy.. he is just gonna teach chapter one again. I already know chapter one.. all i donno is paragon ..
Kimmy : Paragon?? huh?? isnt it Polygon?? Lolx
Aaron : hahahahaha! oh yea! paragon is a pokemon ! Lolx

Yesterday, at pizza hut, Kelly's birthday.
Aaron : Jie ! you know how I bathe anot?? Lolx!! I take the scrubbing thing and then I scrub my face then I scrub my armpits then i scrub my face again then the other armpit and my face then later i scrub down there ! and then scrub my face again !! =D Lololx
Jie : No wonder you got so many pimples....

Lolx !

Desiree'

2007-01-04T20:15:00.000+08:00

Lalala~ I wanna blog about my baby !!! heheheh!! Her name is deriree' ! She's damn cool and cute! lalala~ hehehe!

It's my daughter !!

Penang and Christmas !

2006-12-30T20:50:00.000+08:00

Pictures taken in midvalley

soldier smiles

hug attack !

PENANG!

Another hug attack!

CHRISTMAS EVE !
presenting to you.... :

HAMMY THE POSER !!

Stupid Ex bodyguard [hmph] , me , and my husband!

CHRISTMAS DAY !

2006-12-29T21:09:00.000+08:00

Lalala~

a short update. heheh! im lazy!

I resigned on the 15th of december 2006. Two days later my family and I went to Penang!! It was quite fun there. I actually missed Ah ham. O.O But that stupid boy didnt miss us !!! hpmh!!! Lolx!

Pictures will be posted up !

After Penang, we had a Christmas Bbq on the eve. It was great~! None of my friends showed up but it's ok. My other friends did! =D which made the whole day great. hehe! yerp.. had extra presents this year.. Lolx!

PICTURES WILL BE POSTED UP!
they say pictures say a thousand words.

2006-12-06T22:27:00.000+08:00

Lolx.. i remember my last post was when i was at a cc playing pko.. Lolx.. i was making an account and lvling up to lvl 9. Lolx. and that was damn long ago .. lalala~

I DONT HAVE TO TIME TO UPDATE! SO SUE ME! IT'S NOT LIKE YOU ALL READ MY BLOG!

hahahaha ! lalala~

even though it's the 6th of december.. i feel like that holidays are ending so soon!!!
and i've not spend them nicely!!!

shites man.. my previous posts are so emo..
have not been being emo lately.. but listening to emo songs.. because they are nice . Lolx !
Credits go to Ah Ham for burning me a nice cd too. Lolx !

so... life's been... about working.. going out... and working some more.. birthdays andd... full stop.
yerp.. that's about it..

nope.. no pictures. I dont have any with me.. if you want to see them.. go to chelle's blog or leemin's blog ...

sooo.... yea..
i want to shop.
buy lots of stuff.
sleep a whole 24 hrs.
eat like a pig with my money.
all this after the 15th of dec when i resign.
now... im off to bed.
tata-

2006-11-15T01:11:00.000+08:00

i feel emo

an update

2006-11-14T01:12:00.000+08:00

Here's an update after… hmm? A few days? A week? Nvm, here it is anyway.,.

Physically, I'm ok I guess… normal..

Mentally, I've learned some new things…

Emotionally, it has been like a car driving over the hills… up and down, up and down..

I feel fine, hyper and just great. Before you know it, everything falls down hill…

Spiritually, I've not been going to church but talking to Him more than usual…

Health wise, weird~

Started work two Mondays ago… on my first week… I had multiple insults. LOLX

Like seriously..

My store head: Kimberly, tomorrow please at least wear some lip gloss..

Topshop supervisor: *Looks at my black baggy pants * How old are you? Why are you wearing that kinda pants * gives a disgusted look*

Lolx! I didn't mind the topshop supervisor's comment though. Lolx.. he is gay.. and nice. Lolx

My store head: Kimberly, tomorrow please at least wear a hair band..

Me: Can I help you???
French customer: it is ok.. I’m much taller than you

Waaaah~ that one really sakit hati loh. Lolx

Other than that working at Pumpkin Patch is ok. It's so super boring with a low pay but I like the little kids who comes in… oh, and I like my store head assistant also… she's damn slumber.

I would like to blog more about the little kids and my store head assistant but I'm lazy so yea. Lolx!

Besides working… my life has been busy but I'm not complaining.. I like it.

Of course there are the downs to it too… Everything changed.

I feel like I've totally lost contact with my friends' lives but that is somehow my fault because I made myself busy… I was supposed to call michelle last night but couldn't because my phone was dead and I wasn't home… by the time I reached home I was too tired and I figured that she was already asleep, considering her grandmother wakes up super early to scold her… Lolx

Things didn't only change outside but also at home…

*Draws in deep breath *

*Contemplates *

*Exhales *

*Lolx *

I can't find anyone to be close too now… Everyone is so secretive. Yes, I agree… I'm secretive myself too… but somehow, it doesn't feel right. I did say that I want to keep everything bottled up but again… it still doesn't feel right…. I'm just by myself right now…

God's my best friend now… it's good in a way but I still need someone to respond to me… to say something back, to reply… I won't be able to do that with Him because I don't know how to hear Him.

I have a feeling that nobody trusts me anymore…well, yeah I don't like it but I can't trust anyone anymore either.

I still trust Chelle, Trif, Min, Annie and lyn of course… but I don't know what has been going on with them lately… yea, again, it is my fault because I've been busy…

Somehow I like it that I'm busy right now and not wasting time as I have been doing the past few years, but I hate it too because I've not squeeze in any time for my friends… soon I will though…

I thought that if I started work… I could disappear from everything… but it didn't work because I didn't let it… =P I’m weak remember. Lolx

I do wish, though, that I'll be able to just run away to another country and make new friends for a few months and when I come back, everything would obviously change but I'll take those changes as a new beginning.

I can't wait to get my salary… that time, I know I'll feel more independent.

It's a new step to climb right?

I can't wait for my next birthday too.. *License * I'll feel much, MUCH MORE INDEPENDENT !!! MEAHEHEHEHE!

So… yea that's about it…

P/s I've got so many debts to pay

Sniff*

P/s/s according to my health pie chart regarding my health problems and what I'm doing about it… my death prediction would be 5 more years… wow… that's a long life live !! =OOO LOLX ! This is my own prediction of course, so annie don’t worry.

I really hope he reads this

2006-10-31T02:34:00.000+08:00

You know before knowing about your nick, I already planned to just get over you. I planned to make you absent but still there. I planned to just forget everything. I prayed and talk to God the whole night. The WHOLE night before falling asleep. The other times when I prayed to the Lord to help me forget about you, I dont think He ever helped me because I didn't have faith in it.
But now I seriously have faith in the Lord, He WILL help me get over you with the lift of his finger. And I was really happy to finally know that I'll get over you.

I'm not exactly very simple. Everytime people asked me to just forget about you, everytime they call you a jerk, I feel like crying because it wasnt as simple doing it than saying it.
I knew yesterday that I will get over you, I was a quarter near to a half over you. Lolx!
But today, when I knew about your nick; I was hurt and that quarter was gone, it was back to FULL!
I think it is because you hurt me. You hurt me alot and I find that everytime you hurt me I fall deeper. and.. Lolx! I have a theory to it.. It is because when you hurt me, I feel it, when I feel it, I feel for you that is why I keep on falling for you when I do get over you. I've gotten over you a few times. Honestly, I have.

I know now because I trust and have faith in the Lord that He WILL help me.. so don't worry I'll get over you.. just don't hurt me anymore because I'm scared I'll feel again.

P/s God show me Your miracle
P/s/s This is so not relevant but but.. I've been seeing things O.O it's freaking me out..

First occurence - Tongvern's hse :- I saw his brother's room door closing when I went to the toilet, he checked, no one was there.
Second - *i forgot where* :- saw something at the corner of my eye
Third - Aaron's room :- Saw something black standing tall at a glance, look back again, it was clothes.. hahahahahaha! oklah~ this is nth. Lolx

P/s/s I found out that, happiness is MY best medicine, when I typed out this emo post I didn't feel sad. Laughter came from being happy, therefore happiness can also be the best medicine.
SO don't hurt me, make me HAPPY. It'll cure this disease.

2006-10-27T23:40:00.000+08:00

Stranger wanted.

Headlines: WANTED!
A wish waiting to be granted
Searching high and low
For something to take this toll
An item to vent on
But nothing with; that I can bond
A soul that will listen
A soul that will be here but distant
Judgemental thoughts will not differ
I'm looking for a stranger.

2006-10-27T23:36:00.000+08:00

Maybe I should forgive you?

My english essay.

2006-10-16T20:33:00.000+08:00

Question : Write a story with the ending : ..... "I'll always remember all that you've done for me"

The windows of her eyelids opened. She stared at the white surroundings. It was the same every morning ever since she was diagnosed with cancer. Little Stacie has been living in that hospital room for about 3 years now. Her body was very weak and it was taking longer for her cancer to be cured. Her pretty auburn red hair was no more.

It was a depressing life for a little girl to live that way. She never had any friends as she was diagnosed before she entered kindergarten. Her only friends were Little Jimmy, her stuffed rabbit and Mr. Spidey which was a spider that lived in her room at the right corner of the ceiling.

One day, a girl that was about 11 years old visited her. Stacie found it rather odd as she never had anyone besides her parents visiting her. The girl waved and smiled at Stacie when she woke up from her sleep. Her smile was sweet but Stacie was frightened. She introduced herself as Bridget. Bridget told Stacie that she was a volunteer from school. Bridget was doing some kind of project Stacie didn't understand but whatever it was, Stacie wished that Bridget would go away.

Bridget came back the next day and the next and the next. Everyday that she was there, Stacie never said a word to her. Bridget didn't mind the horror-stricken face that Stacie gave every time she entered the room. Bridget would talk for hours about school and would sometimes try to make Stacie say something.

Days became into weeks and Stacie began to get used to Bridget. She would let Bridget play with Little Jimmy and they would sing and laugh. Before Bridget, she never knew any other songs then "I'm a little teapot" and "London Bridge". Because Bridget introduced her something special, Stacie felt like she should share something too. She didn’t know what to share about. She stared at the ceiling thinking deeply, till it came to her mind. She would introduce Mr. Spidey! Well, her parents didn't even know she was friends with Mr. Spidey and Bridget would be the first to know. What a great plan, she thought.

Bridget was afraid of Mr.Spidey but she didn't show it. She appreciated what Stacie was trying to do. Bridget continued visiting Stacie even after she said she was done with her project. She only visited during the weekends though, but every time she came she brought along fun.

There was once Stacie wished she could get out of that room, get out of that hospital and see beyond it. Bridget noted the extreme sadness on Stacie's soft face. The next day, Bridget came back with presents for Stacie. They were potted plants, grass and butterflies. A Tupperware filled with sand from the beach, a bottle of sea water and a bottle of lake water.

"If I can't bring you to them, I'll bring them to you!” Bridget had said with a smile. Stacie was overjoyed!

Stacie's cancer had begun to worsen but her love for Bridget had grown and brightened. She looked forward to the weekends when her week would be brightened up by Bridget from the mundane, depression and pain from the cancer. There was a month where Bridget had gone for Summer Camp. How Stacie missed her was indescribable but she stayed strong because Bridget had told her to. When Bridget was back from camp, Stacie was ecstatic! She wanted Bridget's full attention. She was practicing a 'welcome back' song for Bridget during the month she was gone. She could now finally sing it to her. Stacie even wrote her a poem and made her something out of ice-cream sticks that she made her mom eat.

Two years came and went; Stacie was now 9 years old and Bridget, 13. Bridget visited her as always but this time her smile was the other way around. Bridget told Stacie that this weekend would be her last. She would be moving away with her family to another state to study in a private school. Stacie started tearing and didn't want to hear any further, she couldn't stand the pain in her heart. Her best and only friend was leaving her. This was, by far, the worst pain that she ever felt despite having cancer.

"Please don't shed anymore tears for me, Stacie. It hurts me so to see an angel cry. I'll be back one of these days and I promise you more fun when I'm here," said Bridget to a sobbing Stacie.

Bridget took out a locket with a picture of both of them smiling. Something for Stacie to remember her by. Stacie then gave her Little Jimmy in exchange for it.

Stacie couldn't say a word as everything she said was overpowered by sobbing. She quickly scribbled down on a piece of paper and gave it to Bridget. It was all about how she had grown to love Bridget and p.s "I'll always remember all that you've done for me."

2006-10-14T22:51:00.000+08:00

of all days...
I ran out of
EGGS!!!!!
sigh*
something is against me baking

2006-10-14T20:57:00.000+08:00

so..... I've neglected my blog. Lolx! was supposed to blog about last friday, 7th Oct '06, hahah ! but I sorta have not been coming online. SO yea, anyway I'll get on with my postS!

Friday, 7th Oct '06

Celebrated Lantern Fest today.. Lolx !
I was supposed to meet up with Chelle, Min, Phil and Ren at Laundry Bar, Curve but I couldnt make it. Yes, I'm sorry I ffk-ed Lolx! I celebrated lantern festival with my family instead. Cousins included. Lolx! I called Vincent to celebrate with us too.. Mei, Chris, and Ngah Ming came along too. OH!! Yeen and Derrick came! None of us expected them to come. So it was quite surprising but good. Because I called Vincent to come, I obviously had to layan him, but you see... I suck at layan-ing ppl. All was good though.. HE entertained everyone with his nonsense.

Oh yes, and a good thing that I didn't meet up with them at Curve. haha! I got a phone call from them saying that they'll join us. hahah !
So we all played with candles, fire and basketball. Lolx !

After all that.. it started to rain -.- It was a mere drizzle at first. We could have made it home being half wet.. but nooooo~ my cousins dropped a whole lot of shit candles and they wanted to pick them up -.- it was just candles. So anyway we waited for them to quickly collect. I helped! *grin* hehe! THEN it started to drizzle a lil heavily.. and broke out into a rain.. and quickly into a... HEAVY RAIN?? hahah !! damn. We were all running back soaking wet. Lolx! Renee was with us and she was wearing *stupid* shoes so she couldnt run. Chris carried her. Lolx!

So yea came home, dried ourselves, bathe, changed, chatted. PICS !

He was talking to EVERYONE lah

I just love this pic wei.. Lolx !

ok~~~ so i kinda forgot what happened the whole entire week. hehe! Because this whole week felt like a month. Went to school on Wednesday.. have been sleeping around 7am and waking up 3-7pm.

Friday the 13th
In summary we celebrated Michelle Leong Yee Ling's birthday today. LOLX! Michelle be thankful that I spelt THAT full name instead of the other full name that Tongvern gave you. haha! It was Dinner at Souled Out. Foos at breakers. Fun at Laundry. wee~~
I hope you had fun lah dear.. everything was planned out for you.

Oh yes.. I did something that I thought was just harmless until Shoan pointed it out and now i feel so fucking grossed about it.. like like.. shit man.. I'll keep my distance from that 'thing' I did. Lolx! Dorky cute in my eyes, a weirdo in someone elses. lalala~ im so fucking mean

Saturday, 14th Oct '06
Someone told me something that I sort of suspected but didn't want it to come true. Though I would be dissapointed if it wasnt what I thought it was. Like maybe on that day I was hoping for that to be true but now... like it's so blah.

ANYWHO...

This post was supposed to be long but I'm just ever so lazy. In short, I was busy this week. Which was good. I have a feeling that I'll be a corpse on my bed next week. Lolx!
Oh! and I've been wanting to bake this whole week and never got the chance to. So, I think I'll go bake now lah.

p.s I'm evil !
p.s.s it's your english !
p.s.s.s Pics on friday the 13th will be posted up in another post.

emo shit

2006-10-07T06:43:00.000+08:00

I feel emo rite now. lantern festival was great. I'll blog abt that later..

My day had it's ups and downs.. but so far it was good.. and I thought my day ended quite ok too when I received happy texts..
If only I really ended it by going to bed.. I stayed up and was online instead..

Damn.. what do you have against me, seriously? I dont believe ever hurting you.. why do you like to hurt me?? and what's wrong with me liking someone else? someone you know? you blardy piece of arrogant shit !

I cant stand you anymore.. but yet I can't get enough of you either..
Ever wonder if you've ever meant so much to a girl before?? ever wonder abt the things you say can make a girl feel so differently?

I hate the both of you... you're both alike every damn speck of you .

I hate you soooo much..
ONE comment ONE short sentence and you are able to splinter my heart

I hate her
I do love her but sometimes I hate her so much. .
She doesn't know what's up it seems.. that's because I've stopped telling you things.. because you cant keep it..
omg omg omg.. im crying im crying im crying..
Man.. this has been going on for two years.. first you invaded my privacy but I trusted you again.. yet you still continue to do it..
I can't tell you my secrets anymore.. I can't tell anyone my secrets in fact..
I have to ask YOU for 'permission' to do something that YOU, yourself, is doing!?
like wtf?!

omg..
i feel like i'm losing my friends..
i feel like they're all gone
they're all still here but not here
I miss trif so much that going out with her on tuesday wasnt enough. Despite how I felt when SHE could make HIM laugh more than I could. I still love her.. I miss her so much.. even tho we talked at night.. I felt like it wasnt enough.. I miss the whole trif.. Eventhough we laughed so much and made a few memorable moments I felt like it wasn't enough to compensate the times that I missed out with her..
I miss shee A WHOLE LOT !! sometimes when I think abt her I feel uneasy.. because of what happened.. I'm not even sure if it was my fault or his, but shee... I'm sorry.. I miss you..! and I doubt we'll ever gonna hang out anymore..
I miss annie.... I'm so sorry for EVERYTHING.
I feel like chelle and leemin are gone too.. I don't know much abt them anymore.. only general stuff.

2006-09-30T20:02:00.000+08:00

I had a dream last night.. hahah ! it's damn weird and gross but .. what the heck, who the hey.

I dreamt that my pubic hair fell off ! whahahahahah !!
It was so funny ! I went to the loo to pee and obviously after pee-ing I wipe my pussy.. and the weird thing is after wiping .. some pussy hair was stuck on the tissue.. like wtf wtf ! o.O
I was really curious so I wiped my pussy again.. and more pussy hair came off !
So I took the water-sprayer-thingy-to-spray-your-ass-after-shitting and sprayed my pussy and
ZOMFGLASERGUNPEWPEWPEW
"I'VE GOT A BALD PUSSY !!!"

whahahahahahaha!!! such a nice dream ~ no need to go for bikini waxing. Lolx!

ok I just realised that I have just blogged abt something so fcuking disgusting.. -.-' hahahaah !

Maid made in Cambodia

2006-09-28T01:51:00.000+08:00

*Mom puts her phone on loud speaker. Her voice msgs came on*

"Hello ah... Cordelia here. Your maid has already arrived you can collect her tomorrow or wednesday lah huh.."

*End of msg*

weee~~~~ so yes.. we finally got our maid ! She's Cambodian! SMALL! and... apparently Cambodians are timid ppl, if we shout they would get frightened and actually cry !
So we can't shout.. sis and I think she came to the wrong hse. haha!
Our hse is fucking noisy and we're always shouting.
Cordelia the agency said she shouted once or twice and they cried for her. haahha !
But the one thing good for coming here is for the food. Maggi mee is luxury for them. Lolx
They only eat beans and.. something else. i forgot. haha! wee!
We gotsa maid maid !
LIKE FINALLY! hehehe

Exams are almost over and I'm glad ! I'm getting annoyed but someone but it's ayte.
AND SOMEONE JUST MSGED ME ! *GRINS* brb

BACK! I'm so so so fcuking happy !! wee~ happy happy happy~!

*flies to bed*

Old Japanese Lady

2006-09-22T22:20:00.000+08:00

I went to midv after school today. Went to metrojaya to use their toilet..
While my mom and amelyn was loo-ing, Amanda, Aunty ann and I sat outside waiting for them. Then I decided to wash my hands.. because I remembered doing something dirty with it. Pls don't drift. So into the loo I went to wash my hands.
In the loo, I saw this old lady having difficulties with the tap. She couldn't push it as it was hard. SO, lalala~ I push it for her and helped her wash her hands. She said "Arigato" and I was O.O ooh~ japanese. Interesting. *I didn't know Japanese ppl look ..like.. Chinese ppl* whahah !
Anyway, on her way out, she didn't see the small tiny.. step.. and she tripped and fell.. flew... and landed with a *THUMP*.. no seriously.. the thump was damn loud.
SO lalala~ I tried to help her out but she was heavy and I am tiny. Luckily Aunty Ann came and helped.. she then called the old lady's daughter in.
SO lalala~ we helped her out.. and all the while she was speaking in Japanese to her daughter.. and.. us.. Obviously we didn't understand.. All those time watching anime.. wasted. hahah!

The moral of the story is... I'M A GOOD CITIZEN ! =D XD

MY EYEBAGS!!!

MUST HIDE EYEBAGS!!!!

Use chopsticks

to eat chicken wings. ahhaah !

Moral of the story is !! ... im lame .. -.- IM BORED OK ! IM AT HOME ON A FRIDAY NIGHT. kimmy can't take this.. lalala~ and NO! I'm NOT ALWAYS out!

A Prayer for the Sadness

2006-09-19T04:49:00.000+08:00

This month has been going really depressing . Everything and everyone is so sad.
Family, friends and weather.
Though I like the weather this way. Lolx. But I don't like my family and friends being this way.

I don't like seeing someone being sad and not knowing why and not being able to help. I feel useless.

I don't like seeing someone being sad and knowing why but not being able to help. I feel even MORE useless.

I don't like not being able to hear and be there for them to vent their anger on. To let it out.. to let go. .

It's sad to see them sad.

Everything and everyone's down in the dumps.

Here's a prayer, I don't know how to pray.. but here it is :-

Dear Lord,

HARLOW !! Lolx ! Lord I pray for happiness for my family and friends. I pray that their depression period would be over and I pray that you shower them with happiness. I pray that Grandpa would be fine. Thank You Lord for being there with him through his operation. I pray that whatever happens to him You would still be there for him, Lord. I pray that Sabina's eye operation went well too. Lord, please give Danni J his strength back so that Triffany would be happy. I want my Triffany back ! I miss her. I pray that Amanda would be happy with what she would be getting Lord. I pray that she'll feel content now with whom she's gonna be with later. Eternal Love for the both of them. I pray that Damien would overcome and pass his test from You. I do not know what's really going on with Amelyn; Lord, but I pray that she'll be fine and would stop playing Gaia. Help her study. I pray that those fleas would leave her alone, Lord. I also pray that You would help her with her anger, Lord. It's not nice nor good to be so angry. Please give Michelle and Leemin strength too, so that they wouldn't break down and cry anymore. I pray that all ends well for Michelle and begins better. I pray that she reads her bible and You would be there for her when her tears fall as I'm unable to do that. I pray that JenWae will realise what he has lost. I may not know what Leemin is going through but I pray Lord that you would help her in whatever she's going through. It doesn't look like it's good. Lolx. Please mend Annette's family, Lord. You know they love You, You know they love each other too. I pray that they'll come to forgive one another. I pray that she won't do what she wants too, Lord.. I'm afraid of what might happen to her. But ahh~ ler her learn from her mistakes. Lolx.
Please help Vincent with his girl problem. Lolx. Help him know what to do whenever it occurs. I also pray that You would help Shoan be the 'NEW' man he wants to be. To move on, to forget. Right. Please help us all and Bless us all.
-Amen

2006-09-13T22:06:00.000+08:00

Haha ! damn fucking dead lah this blog. So blah . I have a feeling that I'll be sleeping a whole lot this week. I can feel it . hahaa! Even when aunty jane asked when am I gonna be teaching her how to strum the guitar, Lolx, I said not this week because I'm gonna be sleeping this whole week . FUck man. and exams are next week !
Anyway, school.. has been quite funny this few weeks but I dread the studying. Everytime a teacher enters the classroom, automatically I feel stupid. Lolx

BLAH !

Trif : Joanne do you have a pad ?
Joanne : Sorry. Eh, I have one. But it's inky....
Trif and I : O.O
Joanne : *takes out a pen*
LOLX! It actually sounded sick.

Trif : *flashes leg* see got any dents in my legs anot... nvm .. *unflashes leg* hard to find
hahahahah ! only very few will get this . LOLX

Mummy : Where did you park?
Amanda : It's nearby but far.
Mummy : *Looks at me* O.o
Kimmy : Whaaat? I understand Lolx It's nearby but far lah
Aunty Jane : I tell you all ah.. must write your own dictionary lah . The definition of near but far.

*stole this from chelle's blog*
science : colours are useful for animals to attract mates.
Chelle : oh looook *points at sentence* hey baby im red. yea. come and get me hahahaha.

Death

2006-09-10T13:03:00.000+08:00

Death ! Many of us fear
When will it occur?
Two weeks? A month after?
Tomorrow? Today? Later!?
Images of memories appear
Before your eyes it flashes
Like a show at a movie theatre
Will my death be printed out in the morning papers?
Nah, just the orbituary; but no matter
I guess, it's enough to flatter.
It would be sweet to die for a lover
But even better;
To die as a martyr !

Death ! Have you ever wonder?
What it would be like when you're a goner?
As my interest grows fonder
I wonder, will my love ones remember?
My funeral ! A thought to ponder
on a sunny day or under the weather?
I don't want it to be any more sadder
So, the dresscode is anything in bright colours !
This may not be a pleasure to hear
but I want my life to end faster
Indeed it is funny and queer
But please don't think of me as a joker
I just want to meet my heavenly Father
much, much earlier ! =D

tell me people !! what do you think about this poem !! tell me !! I need to know ~
btw, if you think it's supposed to be an emo poem.... it's not ! Lolx.
My first un-emo poem !
and there you go ! i added a lil colour to it ! so it won't be so dull ... plus i think it needs colour.. course it's so long . heheh !

Got tagged

2006-09-07T23:50:00.000+08:00

List SEVEN songs you are into right now.

No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying NOW. Post these instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they're listening to.

1. Secondhand Serenade - Your call

2. Nirvana - Lithium

3. Travis - Love will come true

4. Funeral for a friend - Monsters

5. Goo Goo Dolls - I'm still here

6. Hawthorne Heights - Silver bullet (acoustic)

7. Dj Armin Van Buren & Dj tiesto - Eternity

hehe~ lala~ i'm lazy to do this tag properly..

I tag the first seven people who reads this. Lolx. lalala~

Study Syndrome

2006-09-07T00:34:00.000+08:00

I need to start studying.. I'm feeling.. useless. Not knowing anything at all. But I can't bring myself to study.. right now I'm doing my moral tugasan.. looking up for some shit online.. but my mind is blank and I do not know what to click.. Ahh~ fuck it. I hate this. I'm regretting now. I know I would but I still didn't study.. I'm actually quite afraid now for next year. Lolx. Knowing that Amelyn woke up early just to study... irritates me. Lolx. I'm scared that I would end up like that.. worrying abt SPM. But I know I won't wake up just to study.. I need my sleep.

Aside from the fact that I'm stupid.. I'm also feeling empty yet again. Watching that blardy anime made me feel this way. LOLX ! It's a love story that's why.

Nothing much have been going on. I think I would be rotting at home this whole month. Chelle is grounded, leemin I don't know, trif always has plans with other ppl, and there's finals. =.= potong stim .

I can't take it ! I can't take it ! I can't study ! I'm going crazy ! *sniff*

Late post

2006-09-06T01:07:00.000+08:00

I'm lazy to blog but I'm bored so I'm gonna blog but it's gonna be a lazy post because I'm lazy.
heheheh ! lalala~

This is such a late post. Everyone blogged about it already except me but whatever I'm gonna blog out the pictures only .. for memories~

Fixing leemin's radio.

The love boat. Lolx was drowning stickers in school.

2006-09-06T00:57:00.000+08:00

"It would be so much easier if this stale emotions could just dissapear without a word.
At the crossroads where we split ways it saddens me to think that we will never meet again.
Despite adding the emotions that are lacking,
things cool off just as soon as I warm them but I still don't want to believe.
Just how long am I going to brood over the same word?
How long.. "

Got that from some anime that I've been watching. Relates...alot..

Aaron's birthday

2006-08-31T04:36:00.000+08:00

so.. I can't be ignorant!! hahaha ! damn I'm so shit . But I'm still trying though. I can't ignore shits... even just now.. I couldn't ignore the shit just now. Lolx.

I'm not making sense !!! *screams* LOLX

riiite I'm hyper rite now.. random shit

I'm gonna blog about my brother since it was his birthday.
He's such a wimp. He didn't want to go to school today because he was afraid of his birthday 'bash' hahaha ! I was whacking him the whole day.

Kimmy : *grins* Hi Aaron *PaaaaAAaah!* <--- [ a whack on the back]
playing bball
*runs, jumps* "hiyack!" *PaaaAAaaH!*
hehehe lalalal~

Aaron has a future in the rubbish business
Amanda : Can you please go throw our rubbish ah?!
*Aaron throwing away my rubbish*
Aaron : When ah you see the plastic bag deep down in the rubbish bin you tell me, or when it's full then you tell me. Course I know, I am professional !

In the car on our way to Steven's Corner *i think*, we didn't have much money to spend there because..err???.. we were broke??
Kimmy : Everybody drink ais kosong lah
Aaron : Nolah.. everybody drink WATER !
Damien and I : Ais kosong is what!?!?!?!?

So.. I don't have much to blog abt him.. I'll post up pictures as soon as I have uploaded it. . . which won't be soon.. Lolx!

Oh rite.. HAPPY MERDEKA!!! *shoves a Malaysian flag at you* LOLX ! *mich* Lolx!

2006-08-29T21:40:00.000+08:00

So I've found out a way to not feel so much about things. I'm gonna be ignorant about almost anything that I can.
Right now I'm trying to ignore the weird feeling in my gut that's trying to come up.. It's hard to keep it down.. but I'm still gonna try.
Anyways, from now on I shall not give a damn about anything anymore. I don't care what you do or say to me. I won't care anymore. I'm just gonna ignore. Yerp.

stupid post I know, but just want to let you all know. hehe

2006-08-26T04:36:00.000+08:00

I F**l [lolx]

I wish

I hope

I pray

I miss

I wanna touch you

feel your warm embrace
I cant help feeling like I do
I'm strong on the surface
But secretly I'm weak inside
I wanna get lost in your eyes
A place where I can't hide
I just wish you would hear the cries
and would search and find me
I pray to stay in your arms forever
but forever is not real; it's blasphemy
Yet, I still hope it's not over

Random tantrums

2006-08-26T04:30:00.000+08:00

So... I'm feeling a little left out on alot of things now.
I feel alot man. Sheesh.

'i feel..'

LOLX. wtv.

Lately, I've been in another world of my own. Seriously, I've zoned out for a few seconds a couple of times while playing foos. Lolx. It's damn weird. Even playing dota just now. Zoned out. It's damn weird. I hate it. Quite alot has been running through my head. I feel anger, a lil depressed, dead, somewhat happy, content, empty, neglected all at the same time. Told you there's alot running through my head. I wish it just runs away. But no~~ it's like running on a thread mill or something. Dumb shit feelings.

At times like this I would just wanna sleep forever. Or until when I'm feeling exhausted of feeling exhausted. Get it? No? Lolx! But somehow.... I don't feel like that anymore !!!!! I can't use sleep to escape from reality anymore ! Reality are entering my fantasies ! Bitch ! I'm dreaming about the things that I'm thinking about. I'm dreaming about the things I'm feeling.
ISHness! I feel and dream alot. Lolx.

Oh blah. Enough of this shit.. my english is getting suckier and suckier with every sentence I type out.

I'm sick of being looked down on. I'm sick of being a noob in everything I do. I'm sick of .. fuck I cant even remember what was that word that describes what I'm sick of. I'm sick of being so incompetent. I'm sick of being so negative! Yet being positive isn't actually helping either. FUCKER!

I wish..
I feel..
differently.

I feel so left out in everything.. everyone has.... blah
I'm starting to get sick of the word 'feel' and 'sick' LOLX
DAMN !!! I CANT STAND MYSELF !
I shall end here.. and blog again later. Lolx.
lalalala~~
I f**l [lolx] s**k of myself!

2006-08-24T04:54:00.000+08:00

BORED ! BORED ! BORED ! BORED ! BORED ! BORED ! BORED ! BORED !

You Communicate With Your Ears

You love conversations, both as a listener and a talker.
What people say is important to you, and you're often most affected by words, not actions.
You love to hear complements from others. And when you're upset, you often talk to yourself.
Music is very important to you. It's difficult to find you without your iPod.

How Do You Communicate?

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.
That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!
The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.

You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.
Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.
You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?

You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.
Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.
As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

You Should Be a Poet

You have a way with words... and a talent for drawing the pure emotions out of experiences.
Your poetry has the potential to make people laugh and cry at the same time. You just need to write it!

What Sort of Artist Should You Be?

happy

2006-08-23T04:22:00.000+08:00

I was feeling a lil fcuk'd up this morning, ok not morning.. I was still asleep at that time; afternoon, but now...

Kimmy Hiew is.. happy ! *big big wide wide grin*
Lolx. Finally got new shoes.. I hate making decisions so as per usual I took a long time to decide which pair of shoes I wanted and in the end I picked the first one that was in my option list. Lolx.
lalala~ Then I got a new radio for my room~! YaY! and the condition for the new radio was to clean up my whole effin room. Now it's so clean.. I can't believe it. It's so clean.. it looks like i just moved in despite the fact that I havent swept it or mopped it. hehe ! lalala~ *lazy*

New shoes
New radio
New toaster [lolx]

*I love daddy*

I want a new mixer now !

and I still wanan bake my scones !

I'm thinking of baking

scones
blueberry pie
mudcake !

So yea.. because I couldn't blog this month I've actually stored some shit into my phone to blog abt. Lolx. But it's not much.. just random conversations... If you don't find it funny.. then too bad lah.

Amelyn : Lets go church this weekend.
Amanda : why?
Amelyn : Course this week they are gonna talk abt ..God... ..

Math teacher wrote a problem on the whiteboard
Teacher : Now everyone stare at the question and think how to solve it
Me : Can I close my eyes and think teacher~?? hahahaha!

Aaron : I wanna work lah
Amanda : Go Puzzini's lah
Aaron : I dowan there. What will I be there?
Kimmy : Waiter lah ! You think what? very easy ah, you have to wipe the dishes, sweep and mop the floor.. steal buns.. you think very easy ah!? Lolx.

At coffeebeans
Amanda : So what you wanna drink?? Iced mocha latte or Iced cafe latte
Kimmy : Hot ah??
Amanda : =.=' i just said ICED

This happened last month so I can't really remember the exact words..
Justyne : I wanna eat pizza. Lets go eat at shakey's lah
Leemin : First of all.. Shakey's got pizza anot?
whahaha!

My brother had to buy this scouts book thingy for.. scouts?? But he didn't have the time to do so.. So he asked my mom to get it for him.. My mom obviously didn't know what book is it... blah.. My brother decided to draw it out for her.... ... and asked her to show it to the sales person, he said they would understand.. so tell me... you understand anot?? Lolx!

Expressing In Songs

2006-08-21T03:41:00.000+08:00

This is how I'm feeling.... It's weird cause I dont think anyone would understand.. but yea.. I'm weird.
It's bits and parts of songs and quotes expressing how I feel.

" I'm spiraling into my doom

Believe me when I say it's hard.

And I was trying to disappear,
But you got me wrapped around you
I can hardly breathe without you
I was trying to disappear
But I got lost in your eyes now,
You brought me down to size now. " --- 'Half Alive' Secondhand Serenade

" Not a million fights
Could make me hate you
You're invincible
Yeah, It’s true
It's in your eyes
Where I find peace

Is it broken?
Can we work it out?

If I asked you to stay
Would you tell me
You would be mine?

I just need one more day
And time
You've been crying too long
Time
And your tears wrote this song
Stay " --- 'Broken' Secondhand Serenade

" Share with me the blankets that you're wrapped in
because its cold outside cold outside its cold out side
share with me the secrets that you kept in
because its cold inside cold inside its cold inside

and its true I cant go on without you
your smile makes me see clear
if you could only see in the mirror what I see

just wait around and see
maybe I am much more you never no what lies ahead
I promise I can be anyone I can be anything
just because you were hurt doesn’t mean you shouldn't bleed
I can be anyone anything I promise I can be what you need " --- 'Vulnerable' Secondhand Serenade

" Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
call I'm desperate for your voice
I'm listening to the song

Stripped and pollished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Because every breath that you will take
while you are sitting next to me
will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?

And I'm tired of being all alone, " --- 'Your Call' Secondhand Serenade

" and I was wasting all of my life just thinking of you

So Just come back I'll make it
better than it ever was " --- 'Maybe' Secondhand Serenade

" Drown your fears with me

This is becoming a problem I'm hurting it's unfair
But somehow your words,
The way that I heard are haunting me,
You're under my skin
You're breaking in, " --- 'I Hate This Song' Secondhand Serenade

" With every appearance by you, blinding my eyes,

I will share the air I breathe,
I'll give you my heart on a string, " --- 'Awake' Secondhand Serenade

" but it's over were gonners " --- 'Let It Roll' Secondhand Serenade

" I wish my life was this song
cause songs they never die
I could write for years and years
and never have to cry I'd show u how I feel
with out saying a word
I could rap up both are hearts
I know it sounds absurd

the way that i feel tonight so down so down i pray i can swim just so i wont drown and the waves that crash over me i am gasping for air take my hand so i can breath as i write this last song down " --- 'The Last Song Ever' Secondhand Serenade

" I know now
You're my only hope

When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me all the plans that you have for me over again.

I give you my destiny
I'm giving you all of me
I want your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs
I'm giving Him all I have " --- 'Only Hope' Mandy Moore

" And I'd give up forever to touch you

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken " --- 'Iris' Goo Goo Dolls

" If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you." --- Winnie the Pooh

" Why, why do I come here?
Seeking out the memories I hold dear
Cause you put your spell on me
Made me live a memory
And I'm frozen in just the wrong time " --- 'Walnut Tree' Keane

" I'll wait for you, but I can't wait forever. " 'Ohio Is For Lovers' Hawthorne Heights

2006-08-20T04:42:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling emo .

i wanan blog more. but i dont feel like it anymore. bleh.

2006-08-16T20:27:00.000+08:00

wee~! I'm quite lazy to continue the previous post so just go to my sister's blog, linked in the previous post if you wanna know what happen lah k.
Things have been going on. Lots of things. I can recall them but I'm lazy to state them all. So I'll randomly blog about something that did happen in the past month. LOLx.

spikey! so adorable.

dog sitted him

and look what he did...

shat on the wall. stupid dog. Lolx

Faint days

2006-07-26T20:59:00.000+08:00

To make the story short, Grandpa was admitted to the hospital. For more details read Amelyn's blog .
The next day, he fainted into aunty jane's arms. Aunty Jane was calling for my mom and my other aunty.

"PAT PAT PAT!! ANN ANN ANN!! " she cried out.

lalalala~ i'm lazy to blog now.

to be continued...

Guitar hurts

2006-07-23T21:17:00.000+08:00

People often say, : 'love hurts'
I agree. Except I'm adding in a lil more.. 'loving your guitar hurts'
Lolx!

It hurts your fingers
It hurts your legs too!!

When you're excited abt it.. you run to it and hit the wood your mattress lies on
and den you get a wound there.

And when it's on your bed without you knowing, you switch off the lights
and run to your bed and jump on it and you hit it and get bruised.

So yes. guitars hurt.
It's like saying love hurts therefore loving your guitar hurts.

tut tut tut

I now have throbbing fingertips, a wound on my shin and a bruise on my knee. woopedoo.!

2006-07-23T15:00:00.000+08:00

Man. I absolutely, positively love P.O.T.C 2. Lolx. I can talk so much abt it. lalala~ If you wanna waste your time then go ahead and read this post. If not then just don't read this post.. coz it's kinda long and it's only abt the movie. haha!

*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
hated the ending
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
stupid barboasa (sp?)
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
and the damn apple @.@
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
hahaha
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
yea
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
so gross
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
hahaha
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
undead monkey
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
Lolx
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
you know when elizabeth kissed jack
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
and when will saw it
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
hahaha damn funny
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
ohhhh
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
SO DAMN SAD
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
yea
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
i know
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
MADE ME WANNA CRY
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
i actually felt a pang in my heart
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE UNBREAKABLE @.@
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
like i felt his pain
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
lolx
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
I know me too!!!
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
lol!
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
summore POTC3 is coming out soon
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
I'm telling u
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
if they bring jack back
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
elizabeth and jack better not be together
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
WILL AND ELIZABETH SHALL MARRY!!!! damnit!
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
i want jack to come back
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
but i dont think elizabeth will like jack
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
though she looked like it when she wanted the letters back ... you know when she smiling smiling all
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
tis more like....
life love <----will
lust love <----jack
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
but i think she kissed jack because just to lure him into her trap. nyehehehehe
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
Lolx
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
and she said quote un quote "im not sorry"
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
hahahahaha
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
yea but did you see the way she kissed him!!!
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
zomg thought they were gonna do it right there and then
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
damn!
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
and it pissed me off when will didn't hug and comfort her when they were at that weird lady's place after the black pearl sank
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
why?
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
why did it piss you off?
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
because mah...he's the damn fiance.....didn't even comfort the one he loves
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
not even sitting next to her
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
gila I would have killed my bf @.@
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
if he did that to me
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
lol
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
hahaha
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
hmm true
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
but he too was confirm angry that she kissed him
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
OH OH!!!
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
I JUST CAME UP WITH A THEORY
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
lolx!!!!!
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
haahhaha
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
what is it?
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
you know when he saw her crying
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
he said
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
yea
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
if there was anything he would....
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
it's like somehow.. he'll bring jack back for her to make her happy... and not see her cry like that
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
so there! he does love her
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
he'll give her happiness
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
even if it doesnt involve him
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
lalalala~
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
hahahaha
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
THAT THEORY IS MAKING ME MORE SAD
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
AND I FEEL HIS DAMN PAIN!!!
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
I WANT
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
WILL AND ELIZABETH TOGETHER!
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
JACK DOESN'T EVEN DESERVE ELIZABETH >.<
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
I know that Will love her leh but still he coulda held her or something man
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
instead of sitting at another table while she's crying
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
i guess he got caught up with his feelings too
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
ok but his feelings...he loves her mah no matter what wouldn't it feel better to be in the arms of your loved one or to hold your loved one?
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
he wanted to save his father but did not succeed.. and den maybe he was thinking why am i thinking abt my father??? he isnt dead.. eternal life gone to serving davy jones.. and den he thinks abt jack.. and then elizabeth and the kiss.. and blah blah.. and den maybe he was thinking why is he being so angry at it.. jack is gone.. and blah blah.. grieve. Lolx hahahahaha
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
abt*
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
lol
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
ok fine but still
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
wow??? you agree with my theory?
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
lOlx
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
hahaha
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
while thinking about all this
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
wouldn't his love
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
for elizabeth conquer all?
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
I mean he went through this WHOLE thing FOR her
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
his father's situation is semi-solved cuz he promised and bla bla he won't go back on a promise
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
Jack...he already knows that he's gonna get Jack back
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
Even after that freaky lady said she knows how to get Jack back and stupid Barboasa came out
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
he didn't even hug Elizabeth -_-;;;
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
how did he know that?
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
Jack...he already knows that he's gonna get Jack back
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
he wouldnt know it.. if the freaky lady didnt say anything
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
she IS freaky
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
ahaha
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
and her boobs
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
it looks sengeted
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
ahahah
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
hahaha ok but why would they even go to the freaky lady if they weren't going to get Jack back?
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
I mean why not go to another port?
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
trade that stupid monkey for what
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
and her damn teeth bug teh shit out of me
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
i know.. it's like black
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
and that's a good question
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
but they cant go to tortuga
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
and she doesn't take showers >.<
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
it's not like a place to drown your sorrows
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
and they cant go back to england...was it? lolx
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
coz they'll confirm be captured
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
yea they can >.<
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
elizabeth has that
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
stupid compass
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
doesn't she?
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
or no? o.O!
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
no
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
i think they left it at the island
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
where they found the chest
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
or maybe jack took it back
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
hmmm cuz I don't remember that
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
and I don't think Jack took it back
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
@.@ ahhh I don't care Will still shoulda been there for elizabeth a little more
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
and davy jones is really weird
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
he might have
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
i donno
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
i forgot abt the compass
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
it's either he took it back or they left it at the island
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
isla crucces i think
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
Lolx
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
there was subtitles
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
aahah
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
ahhaha
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
cruces*
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
donno
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
you know what tortuga means right?
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
no
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
pirates?
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
Lolx
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
ahahah tis spanish for turtle
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
turtle?
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
so when I heard it
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
I laughed so hard
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
why turtle??
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
hahaha
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
why they named the island turtle?
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
maybe it
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
it's a turtle shaped island
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
Lolx
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
wouldn't they show it to us then?!
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
gahh they're trying to confuse us!
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
maybe the next thing they need to get is a turtle
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
ahahhaha
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
ahahha
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
maybe they might show it in the next movie
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
maybe it's a real life turtle!!!
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
waaaahhh that would be scary
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
a GIANT sea turtle
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
like the kraken
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
zomg i love that stupid kraken yea!!!
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
giant squid. Lolx.. it's a squid rite?
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
I thought it was an octopus?
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
o.O
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
hahaha
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
hmm
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
tis a squidoctopi
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
i was gonna ask that too
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
ahahah
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
hahahahaha
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
I like the black pearl
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
its a nice boat
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
and a big one too
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
*takes a drink...nothing comes out* what happened to all the rum?! *gets up and sways* oh yea
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
hahaha i like that part
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
hahaha
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
and yea i like the boat too
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
and i like the part when he drops the jar of dirt
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
and started looking for the heart
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
he was like
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
"where is it"
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
"where's the thump thump"
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
ahahahhaa
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
haahahhahaha
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
yea!!!
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
and when he gets on the island he was just like... "Don't touch my dirt"
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
and later on all that stupid wikki wikki wakka miki liki talk
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
hahaha
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
that so funny
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
hahaha
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
tie the boat, mind the waves, dont touch my dirt
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
ahahhaah
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
hahahaha yea!
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
ok now the whole "where's the thump thump" is stuck in my head
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
lol!
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
hahaha
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
it's so cute!
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
haahah yea
you like johnny depp better or orlando bloom?
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
oh and I love how ppl call jack....twinkle toes
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
twinkle toes?
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
yea lol I saw this thing on tv for behind the scenes
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
all the actors and stuff laugh at his running
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
call him twinkle toes
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
hahaha
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
but i like his running
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
so cute
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
wahhahahaha i get hamburger and french fries at 11:28 in the morning!
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
hahahaha yea
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
I love how they painted the eyes on his eyelids
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
hahha "the captain is acting a lil strange.....er"
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
hahahaha
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
yea ! i know
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
thats so chun hahaha
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
and gross when he bite the toenails
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
ahaha
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
yea I know! hahaha
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
and when he ran towards the boat
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
and the stupid dog was there
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
hahaha
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
good doggy
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
I wonder what he said to the dog I forgot
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
haha
*Impregnates people with meh scientific spermdilator calculator!* says:
oh yea
- hαlf αιiνε - says:
good doggy

2006-07-20T23:45:00.000+08:00

Freaking unlucky today. Unlukcy with my CDs. Unlucky with my mop. Unlucky with blogger. Unlucky with my dinner.

I burn the same cd.. FIVE FRIGGING TIMES.. 4 Cds wasted. Lolx. I gave one to michelle and trif. Both of theirs are slightly malfunction. Lolx. Another cd is just... spoilt.. i didnt do anything to it. So I burn another one.. and terburn another one. Lolx. Giving one to damien. And the other one I shall keep it for myself. This sounds confusing. Lolx

The mop decided to hate me.

I forgot the username and password to the SittingOnAwalnutTree blog.
Blogger said they sent me my username and password. I've been sitting for one whole hr. I havent received it yet. Lolx. It hates me. I did it multiple times but I still have not receive it. Blogger hates me.

I didn't follow my mom for dinner because I wanted to play my guitar. Resulting to me not having dinner. I donno what to eat now. Lolx

I still suck with my guitar but I'm still practising every chance I've got. I'm a slow learner but I'm impatient. Lolx. I sort of got bored with the two songs damien taught me. Try practising and hearing the same tune over and over again!!! Lolx. So I taught myself another song. hehe !

I didn't wake up for school today. That's bad. I missed my english test. I'm gonna get it from Sabina. Die die DIE!!!

I'm starting to miss someone again. I thought I was over all this shit.
*made myself occupied..eg. guitar*
But after revisiting his blog... I feel pulled back in.

I need to go back to school. I don't know what's going on with my friends. Blogs aren't even helping.. One's blogging blogthings, the other's blogging short posts thinking that I would be able to figure it out, another's blogging abt toothbrushes. Lolx.

Anyway, daddy and aunty jane are playing the guitar. Shall join in. Lolx.

bye~!

p/s I love you.

*need to read that book* Lolx.

2006-07-20T16:25:00.000+08:00

Lolx I didn't know that knowing the basics on how to play the guitar could get you students. Lolx.
My aunty didn't wanna learn from my dad so she asked me to teach her what I know.. I feel.. weird.. coz I'm still learning myself.. from damien and dad. Lolx.

The three of us playing 'sweet dreams'

The beginning of our band. Lolx.

Mothers discovering print screen

2006-07-18T21:31:00.000+08:00

Mother's discovering print screen.

Lost touch =(

2006-07-16T23:30:00.000+08:00

It breaks me so
to see you throw
the love to you I give
because you do not believe

You do not see
how much you mean to me
you're in my daily prayers
you're my success to failures

In what way do I have to prove
This insanity of truth
That I truly am besotted
That I truly am infatuated

Are you afraid of getting hurt
With me; I promise comfort
You'll have my heart
It'll be your canvas art

In hardships; I promise to understand
I'll listen and be your confidant

lalalala~~~~~~~ i have completely lost touch... I don't know how to end that..
"The words are good but it doesnt sound like a poem" said Chelle
"It's not even a poem" said Vince

sigh.. song lah k. song lah. hahaha! but STILL cannot.
wtv lah.

Pointless blogging

2006-07-15T02:22:00.000+08:00

In school, Trif was saying that she hates blogging now. That all she ever blogs about is her day, her life and blah. She thinks that no one is interested in reading about her life... I objected . But now, I feel the same way. Lolx

I feel that my blog is pointless... it's boring.. it's blah.
I've lost inspiration of all sorts.
I've lost the inspiration to blog, to write stories, poems. Mainly about writing lah.. lolx.
I feel so blueh... I read other people's blogs and they're so interesting and when I come back to mine.. I understood why my chatterbox is so dead. Lolx. There's nth to comment about.
The chatterbox is dead because my blog is dead. My blog is dead because life right now feels like a fish on a dinner plate; dead, fried and poked with cutleries.

On a lighter note, I feel proud of myself. I have bonded with my broom and mop. Lolx. shut up. I'm weird I know. But I actually sort of enjoy sweeping and mopping now. Mopping mostly because I can squeeze the water out properly!!! wee~! hehehe! I used to split them into two and squeeze them both seperately because my hands were too small. Now I can squeeze them full! Lolx.

You see what I mean... pointless.. Lolx.

I feel like being alone. Lolx. I feel like walking aimlessly in One Utama tomorrow. Treating myself to the used-to-be-lecka-lecka-ice cream which is God-knows-what-right-now-ice cream. Lolx. Then I would go to MPH and pick myself a good book! Next to Popular to buy myself that 'Macbeth' by shakespeare book. Yes.. I so feel like doing this. Call me a loner but.. I like to be alone sometimes.. SOMETIMES! note that. Lolx. Maybe this 'alone time' I would be able to reflect on what's been happening. Just hope I won't tear.

There you go.. ANOTHER pointless post.

I'm beginning to believe in horoscopes now.. for the fun of it.. It doesn't come true.. but I'm believing it for fun~ Lolx. Yes I AM that lifeless... for now.. maybe.. hopefully. Oh, but because of that.. I've been quite random now.. Been trying to keep myself busy too.. Busy with ME. haha! I can play the guitar again! YaY!
Oh, one of the cause of this lifelessness is also because I have restrain myself from going out AT ALL!! [though I'll be in Ou tomorrow]
This is so that when Annette comes back I won't get scolding from Mummy or Daddy for going out too much. So go out less now and go out more later. Lolx. Good plan, no?

YET, another pointless post.

Oh, blah. Off to bed then.

p.s I love dictionaries.

-----------
Edit

Look at the time I published this.
2.22am.
Lolx. 222.
Yes I DO find this amusing. heheh!

p.s Secondhand Serenade is GOOD ! So is Hawthorne Heights !
2.24am
2+2=4
Lolx. I'm so lame.

p.s.s PLEASE SOMEONE REVIVE ME!!!!!

2006-07-13T00:28:00.000+08:00

I feel content and empty at the same time. Content from the food I finally got to eat! Fried ice cream and the oh so long craving of kenny rogers muffins. heheh! Empty.. from the same thing that I have always been. Except, it feels worse now. Btw, I'm quite angry at myself. Lolx. I'm trying to improve my writing... but it's not working!!! And my poems are getting suckier and suckier by seconds. Ish.

Sweet 16

2006-07-10T03:22:00.000+08:00

So... YaY! finally got to celebrate my sweet sixteen. It was sweet indeed. Sweet chocolate was smashed in my face and into my nose. I had chocolate mucus last night and still did this morning. Gross sial. Damn you people!! Lazy to blog detaily, memories will just be recorded and saved in my brain. lolx. Thanks to all that came and especially trif! Thanks for coming twice and saving me from the evil clutches of granny panties . HAHAHAHAH!
So overall my birthday presents this year are underwear from trif, cash from grandma and aunty ann, a card from renee, a hug from vern, cake from ren hao, sweets from Joel and Josiah and this party from my parents i guess.

*ahem*cough*~still wants a zippo lighter~*

I guess i was kinda drunk. BUT i still remembered everything.. try me.. ask me anything.. lolx. my head was just spinning.. I was ok with the first shot of vodka they gave me.. until they made me down a full cup of JD and vodka with two cubes of ice, so my sister said... i didnt know... i thought there was coke in it or sprite.. until after drinking i realised i didnt see any gas in my cup.. lolx.
And WOW!!!! I woke up early the next morning and couldnt go to sleep. My FIRST!!
So yea... pictures!

The people that came

Damien

Siew haur

Siew haur again

Azriel

ANOTHER Siew haur

Ren the baker

Just cant get enough of him

Vern, Jun and I

ooh~ someone happy, no?
My boyfriend and I. Lolx

Cut his tongue then he know.

Damn alot of pictures loh

look at them.. so suspicious looking

and im NOT supposed to be scared?

afraid to do anything

wasn't sure if i should..

YOU SEE!!
I knew I should have gone with my instincts.

My face mould. lolx

Come here nattgers~

chiu.. kena so little only

got him too~

First shot of the day .

Mei asked why were so closed together

So we decided to 'ambil jarak' lolx

Seriously loh I didn't know what was mixed

PoseyPose

CHEERS !

DOWN, NOW!
[lolx! trif.. ring a bell to you?]
[*ahem* robin~]

mmmm

Lobster Judah

Me : you damn red loh judah
Judah : you also
Me : really ah?? come lets compare! *takes pictures*

ALMOST the same Lolx

. The Blacks .
[with one out-of-nowhere-red]

VERSUS

. The Whites .

Stupid amelyn and ngah ming's forked watermelon

Drunkards?

Wonder what he was looking at...

Susanti!! Lolx!

Jacky.. hehe. you know what you look like ah??
dowan to say lah. haha!

Kitchen helpers.. hehe! adorable, no?

More WHITES

The after effect

Lolx she was worse than me

Amelyn got jealous.
hahahahahahahha!

2006-07-10T01:07:00.000+08:00

DAMN PISSING OFF WEI! STUPID!!!!!! UPLOADED ALL THE PICTURES IN HERE.. I WAS ALMOST DONE.. BUT ... BUT!!!! THE WINDOW JUST.. DECIDED TO *POOF* AWAY!! *ARGH* *SCREAMS* *PULLS HAIR OUT*

2006-07-06T00:33:00.000+08:00

it feels really deprive of it

of love

from the outside

you see a perfectly shaped heart

no flaws.. nothing

but inside.. it's all hollow and empty

love flows but it's not filled back

it gives but it's not given back

how much it is wounded, it's wounded inside not outside

how much it is wounded it continues to show others what's outside

flawless love

it still gives and cares

it makes someone special but the same privilege is not returned

it's willing to redeem it but it's not just being given

fuck lah.. i feel deprive of it.

p/s
this is not a poem btw. lolx. it's just... expressive words?? wtv.

Renee's card.

2006-07-05T18:42:00.000+08:00

Renee poked me from behind. She was crouching down on the floor looking up at me. I thought she was playing so I didn't bother. Little did I know she slipped something through the chair armrests and onto my lap. After looking at it, I realised she made me a card and was shy to give it to me.. lolx. So adorable. It was my first and kind of my only card and present.

Lolx. If you don't know what she drew.. the big orange thing is a rainbow... with a doorknob.. hahaha! and i sorta made it literature-ish.. hahaha!
A rainbow with a doorknob fascinating, no? A rainbow is God's promise of..*something* sorry lah for being forgetful. Every door has a doorknob. There's a promise awaiting me behind that door. Take a look at those Orange lines that she drew next to the rainbow and the birds above the rainbow. The orange lines to me symbolizes the controversy, problems, wounds and pain. The birds are behind the rainbow. Birds to me symbolizes freedom and birds=dove [lolx]. Doves symbolizes peace and purity. If we were to turn that doorknob we would enter a room with promises of peace and freedom. lolx. Why the rainbow is orange? I don't know this one.. hehe.
Damn this is too direct.. but wtv.

I still wish I had a rainbow with a doorknob.

What i find cute about the card is that she drew stars and wrote a 'good' there. lolx. You know how kindergarten teachers do that if you hand in good work? so.. yea. She's only 5 years plus btw.

p/s
While everyone is worrying abt being fat, I'm worrying abt getting fat!

2006-07-04T21:30:00.000+08:00

Daddy allowed me to go pangkor.. I was super happy. lolx. But, friends had to ffk me. *smacks each and everyone of you* So, decided not to go. Planning to book a room in Eastin. Gotta ask dad AGAIN. NOW! sigh. so yea.. but i think things will be good lah.. i need a good sweet 16 celebration ok!
Why issit so hard to get what you want? lolx. I feel like rambling abt this topic.. but.. not now.. i'm too happy. lolx!

--------
Edit
--------
9:32pm

Stupid shit loh. Fcking too much loh. not happy anymore. lolx

Happy Birthday to me!

2006-07-03T00:00:00.000+08:00

The Bottom Line

Act first, think later today. It won't pay to waste time debating the pros and cons.

In Detail

All of your carefully laid plans fly out the window early today, which is a blessing in disguise. You'll have to formulate your back-up plan very quickly, so act first and think later. Lucky stars are shining down on you, and your autopilot won't steer you wrong. Later today, you need to put all of your priorities in a more efficient order -- be careful that you don't forget the people you love. Focus on family before friends, friends before coworkers and coworkers before foes.

It really, really did. My plans are ruin. My carefully thought out plan are ruined! My CAREFULLY THOUGHT OUT PLAN WITH HELP FROM MICHELLE, LEEMIN AND TRIF...RUINED!!!
My plans for my birthday that is.. oh btw today. lolx. I planned to go somewhere and have a break from reality. hehe! Pangkor! It was sort of well planned. I asked my mom about it and i guess my valid reason was too good that she couldn't say no. HAHAH! but she couldn't say yes either because she isn't the one with the money. Though we call her 'money' instead of 'mummy'. lolx. So yea, something is wrong with my dad and I don't get anything for my sweet sixteen. Sounds more of a bitter sixteen to me. No, my dad isn't financially down or wtv.. I ain't blogging it, you wanna know ask me personally~ kekeke!

Mom just wished me and gave me a kiss on my cheeks! *wipes cheeks vigorously*

I haven't ask him yet abt Pangkor but my mom doubts he'll let.. so yea~
I've got nth for my birthday except wishes.
Oh wait, I've got a fever. =

An answer to my question

2006-06-30T00:03:00.000+08:00

hahaha!!! I find this really funny, right after publishing my recent post i went blog hopping. Landed on this blog and I simply scrolled down and started reading and somehow I found an answer for my question from my previous post. Though it's a slap in my face but ahh well~ i'll post the answer anyway..

quote un quote :
"People are the way they are for a reason. (talk, walk, dressing) So let them BE!
Like I said, try getting to know someone inside out, upside down, backwards and forwards before judging AND dissing them.
Won't hurt to try right?"

agreeable, no?

and how do spell agreeable? hahaah agreeable or agreable?

-i'm glitterfied- no~!

headache

2006-06-29T23:47:00.000+08:00

wow.. I'm having a headache. I think it's from the quick thinking I had to do just now.. or maybe it's the jamming sounds of velvet revolver's guitar and drumming. hehe! Nah, I think it's from the thinking. I so hate thinking, explains why I'm stupid. hehehe!

Ever wondered why the people labeled as LaLas always puff up their faces and take pictures. And as if puffing up their faces and looking like a fish is not bad enough they poke their faces with a finger too.. or poke their faces with peace signs. It's like taking a two-fingered-pitch fork and well yea, forking up their face. Do they think they're cute or something?? I'm just wondering. An easy answer to that question could be "that's the whole point why they're labeled as LaLa's" but really.. why???

wtv. I'm giving myself another headache.
I love velvet revolver.

2006-06-28T00:37:00.000+08:00

I know the truth. I'm facing the fact.
I don't really expect anything out of it, it's only the people around me who did.
You just make me happy.
I need a lil joy once in a while you know.

Vince, Vince. shakes head

2006-06-28T00:18:00.000+08:00

D.H.T-Listen to your heart.

2006-06-25T16:52:00.000+08:00

I know there's something in the wake of your smile
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah
you've built a love but that love falls apart
your little piece of heaven turns too dark

listen to your heart
when he's calling for you
listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye

sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile
the precious moments are all lost in the tide, yeah
they're swept away and nothing is what is seems
the feeling of belonging to your dreams

listen to your heart
when he's calling for you
listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye


in so many ways.. this song relates to me.

Literary Night

2006-06-25T05:11:00.000+08:00

Friday was one weird day. After school Michelle and Maylyn followed me home. We changed and went to ou with my family. Somehow mom was being so nice she bought me new shoes and new tops for my sisters and I to share. haha! Then we had lunch.

We headed for home at around 4 or 5 something and got ready for literary night. I was dissapointed that I couldn't wear my dress. We were sort of late so I put on a top and slacks.
Off we went to school. So because I had only clothes on and my face was still naked, we went to the upstairs loo and did my make up.. we could have used the downstairs loo but the upstairs loo had a full length mirror. hahaha! vain pots we are. After disguising the natural, I felt uneasy.. and I heard chattering... I came out of the loo and saw that people have arrived and i was like o.o so I ran downstairs... hoping what I thought wouldn't come true.. but oh no's it did..O.O the guard locked the grill doors!!! We were trapped!! We looked for an escape route but there wasn't any... Lucky us, the grill doors of the bridge was open, so we fast walked to the stairs nearest to the office. Like hamsters trying to escape, we fling our arms throught the grill doors and called for help. haha! A group of my indian friends were 'helping' us.. well, so we thought.. don't know where they ran off too.. thank God there were other people helping us look for the guard. And of all people to meet while we were trapped, Pn. Sabina, my literature teacher..
She asked us how we ended up behind bars, we told her the story.

Pn. Sabina : The moral of the story girls... is to look for the sign that says 'Girls Toilet' TAI LEI SEI!
The three of us : O.O

Embarrasing much, to be locked up in YOUR OWN SCHOOL! hahah! So we did our time and Pn. Sabina helped bailed us. The guard unlocked the grill doors and behind bars; we were, no more. haha!

It was my first time attending lit night. It was ok i guess. Boring were some but funny and interesting were others.

Masquerade.

'shiny disco ball'

Poetry.
I like.

Excalibur! Kind Arthur pulling out the sword.

'Belly dancing'

Moulin Rouge

After lit night there was of course picture taking. haha!

Pn. Sabina and her students.
Lyn and Maylyn
Kimmy and Hottie
Trif and I
The three of us
The red carpet.
We felt grand. haha!
Oh so grand~
it was the fan lah k

It was 12am already and we haven't eaten our dinner.. So yea, waited for a cab to hartamas. While waiting, Alya wanted to tap dance. Trif dared her to tap dance in the middle of the road. haha! so she did.. unfortunately, I snapped the camera at the wrong time and got this picture of her. haha!

So yea, got into the long awaited cab and off we went to hartamas. A football match was on so obviously it was crowded. Lucky us, we found a table in the middle with enough seats for Triffany, Alya, Maylyn, Michelle and I. Ordered food and ate.
Out of no where, Pei wen popped up.. that means, jacky is here.. YaY! and den I saw Ryan and Chris.. so I joined their table for awhile and chitter chatter and asked Jac if she could fetch me home. Angelic Jacky said yes! so wee~! I had transport home after trashing and getting trashed in foos at Breakers.

The next day came, and woke up we did for Justyne's birthday at One Utama.

Much to my dismay someone didn't come. My saturday was a bore and a bad one. Met new people, but we didn't exactly exchange names but I helped get them transport to a party they had to go to. Transport= my sister. haha! She was going to that area anyway. They were quite funny and nice to talk to. Highlight of today happened an hour ago i think. It's 4.13am now.

Yup, so that was my Friday and Saturday. Doubt anything would happen tomorrow. So yea, bye.

2006-06-23T00:59:00.000+08:00

Hours pass, and she still counts the minutes
That I am not there, I swear I didn't mean
For it to feel like this
Like every inch of me is bruised, bruised
And don't fly fast. Oh, pilot can you help me?
Can you make this last? This plane is all I got
So keep it steady, now
Cause every inch you see is bruised

I have noticed that I have been really rude to people this few days. At first I was quite oblivious by my rudeness. Now, I've seen that I've been really really rude. ahh~ donno what's wrong with me. stupet cipet.
btw, Mood at the mo = quite upset.

Since there were some objections to trif's theory 'Men are assholes'
I've rephrased it to "97% of the male species are assholic"
for those men.. and to satisfy tongvern.. guys, who thinks they aren't assholic the 3% could be one of you.
happy now?
Vincent, Jen wae and Matthias you aren't assholes ok?? haha! *pat heads*

2006-06-22T23:11:00.000+08:00

I'm having a cold and I'm sweating..
why?! so backside.

2006-06-22T23:07:00.000+08:00

Love triangles and love affairs
Broken friendships and relationships
A slip of a tongue without a care
It makes you heart want to rip

Old friendships turn rotten
Trust is no more
Things they've done; forgotten
Turning back on what they swore

They were behind each other's back
To support it not to stab
Now they're mere individualists
Caused by one little mishap.

2006-06-22T16:35:00.000+08:00

i found out that i have a knack for making people feel touched by the simple words i say. It's kinda weird.. because they're just simple words.. well, i mean it lah but..blah. And it's funny that the stuff that i really work on... doesn't really have any effects on them. stupid. So maybe i'll go with simplicity now. heheh! btw, i think i should stop writing sappy love poems and start writing poems about what's going on around me. so yea, wrote one.. will post it up later.

-knocked out-

2006-06-21T22:28:00.000+08:00

chelley came over yesterday to stayover again.
she wanted to go to ou to look for a dress..
after looking and coming out of ou empty handed.
oh wait. she came out empty handed.. i came out with flowers. hehe!
we went home and took some pictures in my room. we laughed alot... it's been long since i've laughed like that.. my stomach hurt so much.. and honestly speaking, after lepaking with michelle all these months that is the most i've seen her laugh too.. haha! but who am i to say?? she might have laughed that much too in school and i was asleep to not notice. hehe!

next day, i was having the bowels again so i didn't go to school. michelle had to follow my sister to school. sorry! hehe!

i like yesterday and today. hehe! i have my reasons. michelle knows what.

...please don't cry for me.

2006-06-21T20:04:00.000+08:00

Decided to blog about my english essay because I find it weird. haha!

Question : Write a short story with the following ending :
"... please don't cry for me."

I tried to open my eyes to see where I was but even if my eyes were open, I would not have known. I could not see a thing. My vision was blurry.

I am now in a beautiful place sitting down and remembering my last moments of pain. I do not feel anything now. All i feel now is joy. My Father forbids me to feel any pain. Even if I don't feel it, I remember it like it was just yesterday.

A searing pain shot through my side. I tried opening my eyes again. This time I could see a little clearly. Why are there so many people hovering over me? I wondered. What is that thing they are poking into me?!

I close my eyes shut. Opening again to see a man in surgical uniform. He must be a doctor. I remember now, I was shot. No! How could this happen to me? I did not do anything wrong! those thoughts ran through my head.

It was only my little brother, my mother and I at home that fine sunny Sunday. Dad was off to se my sister who was studying overseas. I remember that I was playing in the yard with my little brother. He was only a toddler. We were playing catch.

The phone was ringing but my mother was busy washing the toilet that she did not hear it. It must have been the running water that was deafening the sounds of the phone ringing. I decided to help my mother answer th phone call. I told my baby brother to go hide as we were playing a new game, hide and seek! It was such a moronic idea. As I came out of the house to the yard, I began looking for him. I looked and looked but I couldn't find him. I didn't want to tell mother that I had lost him. I was afraid that I would be beaten.

I continued searching for my brother when I found lollypop in the middle of the road. It looked like the one mother had given him early this morning. It must have fallen out of his pocket. He must have crossed the road. I hope he is safe!

I was walking and calling out for my brother but an answer never return. I didn't know where I was going, I was just walking aimlessly. I was passing by this alleyway when I heard a chuckle. It sounded like him, so I entered the alley.

I was searching high and low for thim when I saw something. I stopped dead in my tracks. Baby brother was sitting on a man's lap. The man looked like those gangsters I had watched on television. I was afraid but I had to get my brother back.

It was all my fault. I didn't know what to do. Like a thunderbolt, an idea struck my brain. I convinced myself into doing it. I mustered up the courage and went for it. I ran to where baby brother was and I snatched him and ran off.

I ran as fast as I could, I heard shouting from behind me asking me to stop. I did not want to listen. I ran on. "Stop! or i'll shoot!" someone shouted. I didn't believe it. I continued running. Besides, I am so close to home now. I'm safe! We are safe! So, I thought.

The next thing I could remember was a loud bang and a pain searing my side. I hope baby brother is sade. It's all my fault but I know my family would forgive me. They always have. I know they love me very much.

My vision was beginning to blur again. I could feel my heart beat slowing it's pace. I knew I would not make it. No! I can't leave! I thought to myself. I have to know if baby brother is safe or not. Then all of a sudden I felt a warm gush in my face and somehow I knew that he was safe.

I was ready to leave. But, wait! i'm going to leave my family! I thought. I guess I have to. I had no choice but at least I would want them to rejoice and not be sad. I'm leaving to a better place.

I tried my best and huffed out to the doctor, "Please tell my family, tell them, please don't cry for me."

PMS and EMO does not equal!

2006-06-19T20:53:00.000+08:00

omg! I'm fucking pissed and emo right now! *screams* why!? why!? of all times must my fucking period come. huh?! it always come at the wrong time! it's always fucking coming at the wrong time!!! damn u! and now msn is fucking with me by being so spastic and down that I can't sign in! stop fucking with me and making me pms!!!! FUCK U!!!!

And Im so emo now because of SEOW SHEE. hehe!! damn u seow shee!!! hahha! ahh~ i just cant help thinking about what we did. The memories. So sweet. I didn't exactly say everything i wanted to say in that testimonial i sent you earlier. And i would like to say it all here. but you know me and my memory. XD i really forgot all i wanted to say. Dear i really miss you and those times. I hate it when school starts. It seems like when school begins we don't talk as much, we don't lepak as much, we just don't do much together. And after all that has passed, after all the small drama and whirl of emotions, I still love ya!

*screams* sakit-nye my cramps....
and i'm still waiting for someone.
i hate waiting ya know. i really do. i wait alot.

False Hopes

2006-06-19T18:55:00.000+08:00

Now I'm afraid. People are telling me stuff but I'm afraid that it's all false hopes. I have too much of those. Don't want it anymore. It just brings in dissapointment and regret for ever doing anything.
I normally take the first step. The first move. But now I won't as it always leaves me, like I said, with dissapointment and REGRET!
Then again, I can't be so negative right? I'm always negative that's why it always ends up as it does. But that's the point! It always ends up as it always does! That is why i don't wanna hope.
OH BLAH!!!!! FCUK U!!!!!!
man.. don't wanan be so bad to fuck u. haha! OH BLAH!! WTV!!!
talk to me you dingdong!

Conversation with Michelle.

2006-06-18T19:36:00.000+08:00

*david&goliath* says:

tht was last time.do it when he sorta needs to talk to you.let him taste his own medicine

*david&goliath* says:

ahahhaha

*david&goliath* says:

wtv im crapping la

- lost - says:

hahaha

- lost - says:

no!

- lost - says:

when he needs to talk to me

- lost - says:

i have to be there for him

*david&goliath* says:

hahahaha

- lost - says:

something u need is different from something u want

___________________________

*david&goliath* says:

its just those missin feelings keeps comin bek when i tink or see him

*david&goliath* says:

oh well

*david&goliath* says:

bt im over it =]

-lost - says:

missing feelings arent good

- lost - says:

i feel it too

*david&goliath* says:

ahahahah

*david&goliath* says:

yea

*david&goliath* says:

we cant help it =]

*david&goliath* says:

bt im sure its just part of us growin up la

*david&goliath* says:

haha

- lost - says:

hahhha

- lost - says:

but it's not part of us moving on with life

*david&goliath* says:

we just gotta like not tink too much bout it rite ?

- lost- says:

hahaha but how to not think much abt it when it's already moulded and plastered in our minds.

- lost - says:

i hate this

*david&goliath* says:

yea.mee too.maybe u juust hav to spend time with others so u wont tink bout it

- lost - says:

but how to not think abt it when he pops up online?

Fear is the heart of love.

2006-06-18T19:26:00.000+08:00

So i see i haven't been updating for like.. 3 days?

Friday
Chelley came over my hse and slept over. Before that we were in mv with leemin and maylyn. Foosed a game of foos. Walked ard here and there with mich, bade and hugged leemin and maylyn goodbye then off we went to my place. Planned a last minute plan to hartamas but trif couldnt go so we decided not to go. Besides we both took a LONG nap. hehehe!

Saturday
Matthias' birthday. Went for it with mich. Sort of the reason why she stayed over also but I really needed her for the night later. hehe! So yea. I liked this day. For more detailed explanation on what happened today read their posts in their blog Azriel's post , KhoonTheng's post . I shall rephrase i DON'T LIKE THIS DAY. i love it~ heheheh! people who knows why.. shut it, don't state why. So anyways, i suck in foos already. I can't do shits with the ball anymore. Was supposed to meet trif in hartamas for dinner and foos training with Mikael. Was really looking forward to it. But she canceled on me again. The first time she did.. i understood why but this time... i hate u for that. hahha! nah jk i still love you. So Chelley and I were waiting for her brother to come when he called and said his car broke down and he couldn't pick her up. YaY! I was so happy! hehe! well it mean't that she was gonna be following me! But i guess i spoke too soon. Her mom called!! ahh~ scary-nye. So there were a few lies being told. In the end, she still followed me. Went to Nish's hse. Had a couple of Bombay Sapphire and Ryan picked Mich and I up to the cc. Thought Mich how to play dota! hehe! but im always a bad teacher.. So it wasn't a good lesson. hehe! ah well~ she'll learn. Atleast now she knows what's it all abt. Came home and watch football. That's abt it. I sound boring. haha!

"Fear is the heart of love" - deathcab for cutie
Don't you think so?
Fear is the heart of love. Everyone is afraid to love. Afraid to get hurt; afraid to be not loved back. 'heart of love' doesnt mean 'heart' but 'middle'?? [donno wat's the word for it.. hehe!] People say 'Love conquers all'. I say 'Fear conquers all'.

I would like to explain further but I'm bad in explaining and I'm not thinking straight right now. So till then. . ..

*Fear is the heart of love*

2006-06-14T18:11:00.000+08:00

Chelley and I were so called having a convo on a paper during math today.
I wasn't stoning btw mich.. i was actually listening to teacher.
Since she passed me a msg i can't be rude to not reply now can i?
So ya.. this is what we were talking abt...

Michelle
Myself

Love is just a dream. commitments are scary. =)
Love is a well of feelings.
Falling too deep is scary. =)
Being in love leads to breaking down into tears. It hurts.
Being in love helps u feel and not be hard headed.
Even if it leads you to tears, you learn something.
[=D so true.]
How would we even know if someone is for real. Everyone always seem so..unreal.
How would I know if YOU'RE for real if i don't trust YOU!
Im dumb-struck. I should have known earlier. I need to learn how to trust. To open up.
Im simply awe-struck; Of what you think you are.
A person who doesn't trust is far better than one who easily does.
But no worries; Time will help break the fence of bars.
And a friend would come to lend a hand to help you open up.

2006-06-13T00:53:00.000+08:00

So school reopened. I didn't want to go to school today but i had to. During the holidays, I was so used to sleeping ard 7 or 12 the next day that I couldn't fall asleep on Sunday night. In fact i didn't sleep at all. Miraculously I didn't sleep in school too. like.. "WOW". I stayed up for exactly 24hrs!
Achievement?? i like to think so~.

hmm.. i pity renee. The little 5...or 6 years old little girl. Her parents told her to go to her grandparent's hse because they were coming to see her during the holidays. She was so happy obviously. But much to her dismay... both of her parents didn't even see her. Poor girl. She's so young, left with only false hopes.

Anyway, we have been teaching her how to read and she really loves to read. So I guess Josiah wanted to be a big brother or something, he asked her to take a book and read it to him while he plays the comp, like we always do.
She was reading and reading until she came upon a word she couldn't pronounce. Josiah being 'the smarter one' and 'the big brother' helped her.

Josiah : it's boobly
Me : ..... what???
Renee : boobly! *points at the word*
Me : bubbly lah!!! boobly... konon-nye smarter.... -.-

sigh* josiah josiah... and the other day he was fighting with renee. I think they were fighting who was smarter or something. And omg... he was so ferocious!! hahaha!

Josiah : YOU SEE!!! *tooks out math exercise book and throws it at the table* YOU SEE!!! IM STANDARD TWO!!! LOOK LAH!! *points at his book* YOU CAN DO AH!?? HUH?!!? HUH!?!?

haha!

2006-06-11T02:24:00.000+08:00

Right. Went for the wedding today. gosh.. I hate what i was wearing.. I LOOKED LIKE AN AUNTY!!!

It was boring sial. They called the performers from Terengganu that performed for them there to come and perform for them again! The only most enjoyable performance was when the Ah kuas performed~ haha! It was really interesting haha! they called themselves "Divas" hahaha! They had really nice dresses man! Not forgetting their nice bodies and boobies!

Dad : those aren't real women right
Some dude : they're not real men either!

hahaha!
I was starving that when it was time to eat i wasn't hungry anymore. This was the first time that we had to line up to get our food during a wedding dinner. So used to the chinese wedding dinners with the 'yam seng' and all that jazz.

There was this pole thingy with flowers on top and big unlit candles on the floor as deco. I wanted the candles and I told my dad. He pretended to tie his shoelaces and before he got up he took one of the candles! hahahha!!

The England game was dissapointing that I now don't mind missing it. Damn you England! Damn you Annette! hahah!

pictures will be posted up when i feel like it.

2006-06-10T06:08:00.000+08:00

oh blah! stupid polland! only know how to kick poles!! if those two balls would have entered.. I COULD HAVE WON!!!! blardy shit. didn't even score one goal. ish ish ish. and there i went thinking that polland was a good team.
and.. I COULD HAVE WON in the Germany match against Costa Rica too.
if only they stayed 3-1!!!!! but NOooOOOOoooo costa rica had to score one more goal and when i thought i could still have a chance to win, in that last 5 minutes GERMANY HAD TO SCORE!!!!
why couldn't they stay 3-1?? why? why? stupid.

for being such a lazy arse, i have been sitting at home rotting away and sleeping away. i was too lazy to go out even though i really wanted to. i was supposed to meet trif at hartamas today but being a lazy arse i didn't~ hehe! canceled so many plans. lade lade la~

brought the boring holidays to myself if you ask me~ hahah!

football is fun~! wee~! right. goodnight.
oh no. have to go for uncle william's wedding dinner, AGAIN. and i'm gonna have to miss England's match against Paraguay!! deng. hope the dinner ends fast! hehe!

*even the best falls down sometimes*

2006-06-08T09:25:00.000+08:00

addicted to it again~

life as it is...

LIFEEEEE, BITCHEESSS!

Enter Galactic

Unsent message

A New Story

Have you seen the remote?

You're still the one I run toThe one that I belong toYou're the one I want for life.You're still the one that I loveThe only one I dream ofYou're still the one I kiss good night.

I'm weak

I will hunger

Hot or Cold?

Sixth Monthaversary

Singapore, 3rd of July.

To my Vincent,

Dedicated to Mr. kok

A change of name

My new baby!

In Memory of Desirée.

Torn by a secret .

An old poem

A toast to the new year ! 2009

Pn Toh

Whoosh

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart) by ee cummings

EE Cummings - i carry your heart

Still the same

IM BACK ! lolx

Desiree'

Penang and Christmas !

an update

I really hope he reads this

My english essay.

emo shit

Maid made in Cambodia

Old Japanese Lady

A Prayer for the Sadness

Death

Got tagged

Study Syndrome

Late post

Aaron's birthday

Random tantrums

*happy*

Expressing In Songs

Faint days

Guitar hurts

Mothers discovering print screen

Lost touch =(

Pointless blogging

Sweet 16

Renee's card.

Happy Birthday to me!

The Bottom Line

In Detail

An answer to my question

headache

Vince, Vince. *shakes head*

D.H.T-Listen to your heart.

Literary Night

...please don't cry for me.

PMS and EMO does not equal!

False Hopes

Conversation with Michelle.

Fear is the heart of love.

You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're the one I want for life.

You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night.

happy

Vince, Vince. shakes head